CAN I HIT IT IN THE MORNING?! PT. IV: WHAT TRULY DEFINES CHEATING? INQUIRING MINDS WANNA KNOW...

DAVID L. PRESENTS:
CAN I HIT IT IN THE MORNING?! VOL. IV:
WHAT TRULY DEFINES CHEATING? INQUIRING MINDS WANNA KNOW…

Column Synopsis: A random & unbiased perspective of what is relevant in the world today – as seen through the eyes of yours truly, David L. A column not to be duplicated… but to be emulated. Because after all, groundbreaking material does not come around every day. A comprehensive “no holds barred” opinion on current social events of utmost importance. A Q&A with random readers with answers posted to include hints, tips and breakthrough ideas into either getting through life – and/or surviving it! In conclusion – a breakthrough column to for the ages… none before me. None after my departure. ‘Nuff said.

Intro
First and foremost, there is a “gray area” of sorts that cannot be ignored when discussing the subject of “cheating”. The word cheating is a defined set of circumstances that cannot and should not be blurred by the parameters of each individual’s pre-conceived set of values and ethics. Some will justify that it’s only cheating when/if caught while others – who undoubtedly have been scorned themselves in the past will rationalize their actions with unmitigated deliberation any a myriad of excuses of blame towards the other involved person in the relationship. In other words, TWO WRONGS DON’T MAKE A RIGHT! Most people will rationalize anything, going as far as saying “it wasn’t me” even if caught dead in the act of infidelity! Expecting everyone’s definition towards the act of cheating or infidelity would be a gross measure of injustice. Is looking at another individual and fantasizing impure thoughts with them an act of cheating? What about the attempt at infidelity, however, the other involved party rejected his or her advances? Nearing 2014, we are at the height of the “technological” era, and “sexting” (sex texting) has become the new phenomenon. Should that be considered to be grounds for a potential break up with one’s partner? These are all questions… and then some that will be asked by various selected participants as well as responded to by yours truly. LET THE GAMES BEGIN!

What is cheating? Elayne B. of Philadelphia, Pennsylvania says: “Hiding/erasing text messages, calls (from call history), sharing emotional attachment with someone else who is not your mate and hiding friends of the opposite sex, which includes lying or hiding the fact that you have a mate is considered cheating.” My response to you Ms. Elayne is this: NOT! Look here people… we are discussing the topic of cheating. Not lying. That is a subject all in itself. When dealing with an insecure mate – for whatever reason, there may be times in which lying about friends of the opposite sex and/or hiding/deleting call history and/or text messages may be your only recourse to avoid unnecessary drama. At the risk of sounding sexist, women often find fault in something that is not there, and issues that become bigger than intended because y’all want to “talk the situation into submission.” The average male will grow despondent and downright vengeful if he is accused of something in which he had no part. Nothing is worse that being held captive to a woman’s scorn – especially when said male may actually be innocent to circumstances. Elayne B. responded to my question about “sexting” as such: “sexting is cheating because if you are sexting, you want to have sex with that person.” Again Elayne… NOT!
Sexting is the unfortunate circumstance of avoidance in the “real world” as we know it. We as individuals barely use our imaginations anymore and don’t interact with others on a face to face level nowhere near as much as in previous generations. Gone are the days in which folks sat around and actually spoke to one another. The cell phone has replaced the home phone and people have been relegated to texting instead of speaking to get their point across. Television and Play Station has taken society captive and almost NO ONE goes outside to socialize anymore. Texting has replaced courting, so if there is no emotional attachment involved (no emotional attachment being my priority argument here), I personally don’t believe there is any harm. *Now for you ladies, who disagree (and I’m sure there are a bunch of you… again I emphasize the notion that there can be NO emotional attachment involved to dispute my theory).

Is the attempt at cheating but not being able to follow through considered cheating? Scenario: “Danny” is headed over to “Darla’s” place for some opportunistic loving while his lady is away on a business trip. During his drive, halfway there his car breaks down and by the time Triple A arrives, the rendezvous has been cancelled.
Carletta A. of Columbia, South Carolina says: “It could be considered cheating because the intention was to go and if the car did not break down, who knows what might have happened. So yes – it is cheating.” My response to you Ms. Carletta is again… NOT!
So now we are basing our decision off of “INTENTION”?! So if I INTENDED to use anabolic steroids however the needle broke before the steroids could enter my vein, wouldn’t my urine (or blood) come out clean on a future drug test?!

An individual performs oral sex on you at your bachelor/bachelorette party. You are very much under the influence of alcohol and barely remember the encounter. Cheating?
Carletta A. of Columbia, SC responds: “What my partner doesn’t know won’t hurt. Why lose out by telling when you can blame it on the alcohol!” I got one word for you Carletta… CONTRADICTION! This answer could also have been very much have been your response on the previous scenario, however, you decided to test the murky waters of ethics. But on the second scenario, the “realness” has finally come out! You are quickly learning grasshopper! I agree. Not only do you keep your big mouth shut people, you take it to your grave. Besides, I included the equation of not remembering the encounter – right? So what exactly are you going to share with your partner if you don’t remember the encounter in the 1st place?

Jeanette of Queens, NY says: “Cheating is when you have sex or talk intimate with someone other than the person you are committed to.” WRONG! What about partner swapping in whom both parties are not only knowledgeable of the other’s sexual act, they are willing participants? Would that still not be considered cheating since you are in the “act of cheating other than the person you are committed to?” What about a couple acting out a role for a movie scene? Is that considered cheating or is that considered o.k. because in the grand scheme of things, it is part of “The Arts” and it runs rampant on just about every set between New York and Hollywood?! And can someone define “talk intimate” to me please?! I have seen words and phrases like “boo”, “sweetheart”, and “daddy”, tossed around like a ball on social media for several years now. Should that be considered talking intimate?!

Final Thoughts:
Unfortunately, no males volunteered to take part in this article so the aforementioned responses as expected are gender-biased and unproven from a statistical standpoint. However, my initial theory remains grounded in the concept that most women base their answers on emotion and most men will undoubtedly base their response off of other (logical) intangibles. There are many instances in which women ASSUME they are in a committed relationship because that is what they want subconsciously.. Unfortunately, if you never had that “special talk” with the other party, he should not be to blame if he “sticks his flag” elsewhere because there is no “contract” indicating he is not allowed to venture off and perform sexual relations with other women. Until that talk of commitment is discussed, and more importantly, agreed upon ladies; do not expect the man to ASSUME (notice the usage of uppercase letters!) he is in a committed relationship. Consequently, by no means is he cheating. The usage of the word CHEATING means many things to many people and to do a survey on 100 people which span a variety of race, gender and moral parameters would be a better method of proving my point. A multitude of examples could also be included in the study. For example: Is having a lap dance performed on you from a strip club cheating? What about going out to dinner with an ex boyfriend / girlfriend in which the only thing that transpires is eating out and some good company, followed by going your separate ways? How about giving someone at the club your phone number but when that person calls, you let it go to voicemail, with no intention of returning their call? (Dedicated to all you men/women out there that want to know if “you still got it”!)

Many more scenarios can be included here but by now if you do not see my point, you never will. Instead of relying on the societal lines of what can be deemed cheating, your own personal code should be what is considered most important. Going forward, that will be your “moral compass” on the true definition of cheating.

***
David L. is the award-winning author & publisher of 4 novels: Over Your Dead Body, My Life Is A Movie, Chalk Outline Confessions: The Remix & Represent. All are available for purchase on his official author website at: www.totalpackagepublications.com, via E-book (Kindle & Nook) and select bookstores everywhere. Email David L. at: contacttpp@totalpackagepublications.com. Follow David L. on Twitter at: www.twitter.com/almightydavidl; and on Facebook at: www.facebook.com/theauthordavidl.
Previous Can I Hit It In The Morning?! Series by David L. can also be found on his author blog at: totalpackagepublications.blogspot.com.