Thursday, December 4, 2014

Can I Hit It In The Morning?! Pt. VII: Love At 1st Sight... Does It Exist?


Column Synopsis: A random and unbiased perspective of what is relevant in the world today – as seen through the eyes of yours truly, David L. A column not to be duplicated… but to be emulated. Because after all, groundbreaking material does not come around every day. A comprehensive “no holds barred” opinion on current social events of utmost importance. A Q&A with random readers with answers posted to include hints, tips and breakthrough ideas into either getting through life – and/or surviving it! In conclusion – a breakthrough column to for the ages… none before me. None after my departure. ‘Nuff said.

“Love at first sight is very possible depending on the individual.  Some men and women love stronger than others and know right away when they meet that special person that is going to change their life forever.  I knew right away when I met my wife that I was going to ultimately marry her!”

“Pervis M.”

 Intro: Is there really such a thing as “love at first sight?”  Many would claim that there is, and that they have firsthand experience.  But is this concept merely to confuse sexual attraction with love?  The fact of the matter is, the broad parameters of love at first sight appears to be somewhat of a very common misnomer since it cannot reasonably be taken literally.  This is because merely seeing someone does not afford a sufficient window into the nature of the person seen.  For example, seeing a Hollywood “star” like Idris Elba or Morris Chestnut (or whoever your “eye candy” of the week may be) in their latest flicks is not a basis for loving them.  Indeed, the characters sauntering about on the screen are not really the actors themselves, an obvious fact that some of you groupies tend to miss (yeah – I said it!)  These so-called fans may be sexually attracted to, or infatuated with the aforementioned actors but they cannot be said to love them because they really do not know them – even if they know some things about them (for example through gossip columns).  Similarly, in simply “seeing” others without ever having the opportunity to get to know them we cannot reasonably be said to love them.  Nevertheless, some of you believe there can be a “mystical experience” or unity that has drawn two kindred souls together.  One word: HOGWASH! Still, behind this broader question is a further pressing question: how can one tell the difference between liking and loving that individual?  So, while you can definitely have “liking at first acquaintance,” can “loving at first acquaintance” be a consideration?  To answer this question, we obviously need to have a clear basis on what it means to truly love someone.  True love takes time to cultivate, and in love at first sight, there is simply not enough time for any of the activities of loving someone to be brought to fruition.

I don’t believe the act of love is possible at first sight.  Infatuation or lust yes.  I believe true love has to be planted and then nurtured with communication and sharing even the smallest part of yourself.”


 Ladies – remember that handsome jock you couldn’t take your eyes off of in High School?  You know, the one you were convinced would be the breadwinner and baby daddy for your future three children – but then you realized he was a pathetic loser with a most likely probability to live a very humdrum existence?  You believed then that love at first sight was possible, but soon discovered that it’s just another one of those made for television (think Lifetime channel) aimed at deceiving only the most naïve of all folks.  You wanna know why?  Because it DOESN’T EXIST!  Not now.  Not ever!  Everyone has heard the cliché pick up line: “do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?”  Arguably this line has a less than dismal success rate, however, it does pose a valid argument.  Passionate lovers – both male and female who develop emotional feelings upon initial contact tend to firmly believe in love at first sight.  The problem with this concept is they believe in it so much that every man or woman they frequent becomes “the love of their life.”  Consequently, anyone who feels this way after only one encounter unequivocally ends up diminishing the effect and any subsequent contact with that so called “special” person becomes marginalized.

Love at first sight does not exist!  Lust at first sight does, and then hopefully you get a chance and then fall in love…”

“Remy Martin”

 Research states that women tend to fall in love more easily while in a relationship, and not coincidentally, quicker to commit to their men.  Although they tend to be “wary” in the early stages of a committed relationship, they will eventually open up to falling in love and commit with much more anticipation.  Many women also base their relationship on an otherwise outdated concept in which their “knight in shining armor” also ultimately “sweeps them off of their feet” and “whisks them away” to a four bedroom house with white picket fence.  Setting their sights so high, however, might actually end up hindering the proverbial bottom line for women in this fairytale-like scenario.  And for you men out there, very often it comes to the illusion of love at first sight, men can (and are) blinded by a “big butt and a smile.”  Undoubtedly, most men will never readily admit to catching feelings so fast, and they very often do “fall hard” when that right woman comes along.  Although most men are better equipped to “pacing themselves” in the dating game and being careful about whom they offer their hearts to, we are still susceptible to the same emotional bliss that “ails” our female counterparts.  Just remember – having a “crush” on someone, being attracted to, and falling in love with someone are all very different things altogether.


David L. is the award-winning author& publisher of 4 novels: Over Your Dead Body, My Life Is A Movie, Chalk Outline Confessions: The Remix & Represent. All are available for purchase on his official author website at:, via E-book (Kindle & Nook) and digital download direct from website, and select bookstores everywhere. Email David L. at: Follow David L. on Twitter at:; and on Facebook at:

Previous Can I Hit It In The Morning?! blog series by David L. can also be found on his author blog at:




Charlene Mallory said...

I believe there is attraction and maybe lust at first sight, but not love! At least not for me. Love is a process although in the "honeymoon" stage in which your releasing lots of endorphins and phantoms, one might construe that it is love. But it takes time to actually get to know another person, and be willing to accept them as they are, faults and all. Sometimes recognizing their faults can be a deal breaker, and other times not. When you have made it through hard times as well as good times together and y'all still standing, that's love. Even then couples need to work at keeping that love alive. ***Charlene Mallory

Anonymous said...

GM David that hogwash and you know it lol... You telling me you can't fall for someone at first sight... It was the booty and nice smile for real? I have never experience it not saying it can't happen everything is possible. Mw sitting here and talking to this person for ten days just for a stimulating Converse...compliment everyday its possible... Cristana K

Anonymous said...

Thanks for sharing this with all of us. It was well written and very educational. I was always a believer in "love at first sight" but after reading your editorial... I'm not quite as sure anymore that it exists. Keep em' coming!

Quana W. said...

Personally No I don't believe that you can love someone the very moment you meet,however being a spiritual woman I do believe that you can develope feelings and or "Fall in love" with someone over a short period of time...

Quana w

Genell said...

Very good article David. I have never experienced love at first sight but being in a long term relationship with a man who does believe in it & says he felt it when he met me, eh, maybe it just doesn't happen to everyone.

Dana said...

Me being as emotional as I am, you opened me up and educated me to something I would've never looked at. When you said " having a “crush” on someone, being attracted to, and falling in love with someone are all very different things altogether.", that hit home for me because I catch feelings so fast for a person simply because they are nice to me. Now, that's not love at first sight, but to me, I make it more than what it truly is. What do you think it is if a person catches feelings for someone who is nice to them, but there is no type of connection?

Tasha Logan said...

I don't believe in love at first sight, it's lust at first sight. How can you love someone just by your first interaction? You know at first sight if you wanna f*** someone and that's totally different from love. You have to get to know a person & and accept them for who they are flaws and all.

Vanessa .J said...

It takes time to love!! You can be at first lust with someone but not love!! For all you know he could be a fine-ass asshole or she can be a gorgeous bombshell with the mind of a five year old . Love is grown not spotted. Ijs...