Can I Hit It In The Morning?! Vol. III

DAVID L. PRESENTS…

CAN I HIT IT IN THE MORNING?! VOL. III

Ladies: Does SIZE Really Matter In The Bedroom?

Column Synopsis: A random and unbiased perspective of what is relevant in the world today – as seen through the eyes of yours truly, David L. A column not to be duplicated… but to be emulated. Because after all, groundbreaking material does not come around every day. A comprehensive “no holds barred” opinion on current social events of utmost importance. A Q&A with random readers with answers posted to include hints, tips and breakthrough ideas into either getting through life – and/or surviving it! In conclusion – a breakthrough column to for the ages… none before me. None after my departure. ‘Nuff said.


INTRODUCTION:
O.K. fellas – don’t think for a moment that I’m alienating you with this article and that it is geared only for the females. By all means – share your thoughts, rebuttals, comments, or whatever mindless rhetoric you may want to add to this piece. We’re listening… (long pause).
I’ve heard different variations to this statement for years. Comments such as: “it’s not the size, it’s what you do with it”… “If you love the man, who cares if he is not well endowed”… “It’s how you work it that counts”… and so on… and so forth. All LIES! But more on that later. Truth be told, women are not too different from their male counterparts as it relates to knowing what they want… and how they want it. They are just better at “stroking egos” and nurturing their man’s self esteem in order to make him feel better about himself. They were bred that way from an early age. Raised by their mothers to tell their man whatever he wanted to hear. Whether it was in his best interests or not. In other words – LIE LIKE A RUG! Alas, the deception has reached biblical proportions throughout the greater part of the last century! With the advancement of social media outlets such as television, radio, various internet sites (Facebook, Twitter, Instagram), I have witnessed countless subliminal comments, posts and “pics” in which men are often scrutinized – not for their behavior or willingness to conform to their significant other’s needs, but based on what they are “packing” down south. This has nothing to do with that “bad boy” image that most women swear they don’t gravitate towards (although my research says otherwise). This has everything to do with what a man can get away with based on how well he can satisfy his woman in the bedroom. Research that has led me to believe that my theory was right all along… men that are “blessed” GET AWAY WITH MURDER! So then ladies – it really isn’t about how he treats you outside the bedroom – is it? The places he takes you. The way he makes you feel emotionally. How he “completes” you and your every thought. Finishes your sentences because the two of you are so “in tune” with one another. Nope. That’s not good enough – is it?! The aforementioned man I just described better be “blowing your back out” in the bedroom… kitchen table… on top the chandelier… or wherever the two of you see fit. So ladies – what’s the final verdict? Am I correct in my assumptions about my aforementioned comments on “size”? Or is the size of the man’s endowment just a simply overrated, overused cliché that bodes no real significance in the grand scheme of things between the sexual exploits of man and woman? Read on…

“Depends on what you are looking for and what comes with the package. If he’s too big or too small and he still pleases in other ways, then size is not an issue. As long as both individuals are able to get to that ecstasy point.” ---Tammy S.

“Size does matter. No matter how much you may love a person, if your “hot pocket” is not compatible with the size of his “love handle”, then it takes something away from the relationship, especially if there is a lack of conversation relating to the issue. Furthermore, you will be left feeling unsatisfied which leads to a slew of other emotions and in most cases – cheating.” ---Natesha S.

“Yes size matters. Just because a man is well endowed does not mean he knows what to do with it. Some men can be too large for some women, thus causing discomfort. But just because a man is small does not mean that he won’t be able to give a woman pleasure. Ultimately, the determining factor of size is based on what a woman likes.” ---Le’vonne B.

“Size does not matter. It’s what you can do with what you have that matters. Just because a man may be blessed doesn’t mean he knows how to use it. Pain isn’t always pleasure.” ---Elayne B.

“Size does absolutely matter. At the end of the day I want to have an orgasm. I want to feel my man inside of me. There is nothing better than feeling full. I don’t want to hear “oh his oral game is great.” Every woman wants a vaginal orgasm.” ---Tiffany

“No size doesn’t matter. You can have the biggest manhood in the world, but if you don’t know how to use it, then it’s not worth anything.” ---Keona D.

“Men love their penis. It becomes their best friend. Men are also competitive when it comes to women. I can say size doesn’t matter, but then you have to have enough to satisfy a woman so in reality, size does matter to a certain point.” ---Papaya

So what does this all mean? Although not conclusive (some of our featured respondents failed to give a concrete answer as their response seemed to shift from size does/does not matter, the clear majority of women agree that size DOES matter. An answer I already knew… but decided to elaborate on anyway. Let’s face it… some things can be ignored. Some things clearly cannot be compromised. Lets divulge ourselves for a quick moment and steer away from size – if only momentarily. How many women gravitate towards a man who is clearly “bulked up in the pockets?” In other words – got dough. Money. Loot. CREAM. Dinero. Etc. Etc. How many of you find it harder to walk out of a posh four bedroom private house with a two car garage, outside deck, marble floors, large backyard, and all the amenities over a dirty a** one bedroom apartment with no heat that’s still in his mama’s name?! That’s what I thought! Would Beyonce have hooked up with Shawn Carter when he lived in Marcy Projects before he transformed into the multi-millionaire mogul, Jay-Z ? Would Faith Evans have hooked up with Christopher Wallace when he was on the corner of Fulton Street in Brooklyn before he became the platinum-selling hip-hop artist, The Notorious B.I.G.? Again – that’s what I thought! I can include MAN Y more examples, but for word count purposes, I will defer for now. Size DOES matter. But for all the wrong reasons. Yes – it often equates to satisfaction, orgasm, and contentment. But the underlying reasons are really about POWER (see my previous Can I Hit It…?! article for further elaboration). Power as it relates to what that man who is “well endowed” can get away with in the bedroom. Ladies – y’all are notorious for putting up with more crap from a man if he is blessed over his “lesser endowed” male counterpart. A well endowed man will “hit it” well; leave you curled up in the fetal position, sucking your thumb. And damn it – he will get a five course breakfast from you butt a** naked the following morning! The lesser-endowed man? He will be fixing YOU breakfast. AND picking up your bratty, whiney kids from school. AND possibly paying your next car note! The man who is “well endowed” could have a tumultuous affair and get caught in YOUR bed… and you will at least consider taking him back. But the other poor soul? His a** will be out of your life before he even had a chance to fabricate a story and try to make amends. In conclusion ladies – the man who is packing can (and will) get away with murder. The man who causes you to count ceiling tiles as he attempts to make love to you, will metaphorically die a slow and uneventful death because you will talk about his trifling small d**k behind to your best friend first chance you get!

I have spoken. And so it shall be. Until next time… SAY WHAT YOU WANT… JUST SPELL MY NAME RIGHT!
P.S. All opinions, no matter how distasteful, are MINE – and mine only. Every a**hole has a right to one. And I’m the biggest a**hole you’ve ever had the pleasure to read about! Peace.

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David L. is the award-winning author & publisher of 4 novels: Over Your Dead Body, My Life Is A Movie, Chalk Outline Confessions: The Remix & Represent. All are available for purchase on his official author website at: www.totalpackagepublications.com
Via E-book (Kindle & Nook) and select bookstores everywhere.
Email David L. at: contacttpp@totalpackagepublications.com.
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Previous Can I Hit It In The Morning?! Series by David L. can also be found on his author blog at: totalpackagepublications.blogspot.com.